Sink Reflections

Sink Reflections by Marla Cilley-The FlyLady

I was convinced that I needed to buy a new (bigger) house, but once I realized I was living in CHAOS (and that somebody knew what that was and had been there too) and that before I rushed right out to buy that new place I had some decluttering to do -- I got right to it. 15 minutes at a time over only about a month (long enough to establish a habit) I discovered that my house was plenty big enough -- I just needed to stop housing all that clutter and instead decide that the rooms needed only to hold essentials -- and that the only true essentials were my family and me.

The website (and the daily flow of emails and testimonials) are amazingly wonderful. The best part of the book and of the system is -- we clutter-maniacs are not alone and just knowing that someone else has suffered the pain of being so messy that you are afraid to have anyone see your house is comforting -- and inspires us FlyBabies to get moving for the next 15 minutes to make one little spot just that much better.

If in clearing the table nothing gets stacked in the sink (where it pauses for a week before it makes it to the dishwasher) but just goes straight into the dishwasher, is that clearing or cleaning?
If you know what you are going to wear tomorrow because you have laid it out the night before (and have noticed if the skirt needs hemming or the blouse needs to be ironed -- and so handled it in a few minutes that night), is that just being prepared or is that cleaning?

Above all -- I have discovered that I have too much (and don't need to buy or receive any more) -- and I have discovered the blessings that come to me from giving my too much away to people who have too little.

And all from this little bitty book. BUY IT or go to flylady.net!

Sidetracked Home Executive: From Pigpen to Paradise

Sidetracked Home Executives by Pam Young and Peggy Jones

Pam and Peggy certainly know what it feels like to be living in total chaos, and they use that understanding to good effect in this book, showing step by step how they got organized. They don't take any knowledge or organizational ability for granted, and they have great senses of humor. Their card-file system will probably work for most people who are SHE's (Sidetracked Home Executives) because of their creativity, or just general distractedness.
If, however, you are a SHE because you're a frozen perfectionist, someone who never cleans because you don't have time to do it RIGHT, this is not the book for you. The card-file is wonderful - except that I'm entirely capable of spending the next 6 months making sure I've got the file system perfect without ever actually doing any of the stuff on it. There's also nothing to prevent you from overloading yourself with nit-picking chores and burning out.

1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12

1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 by Thomas Phelan

Part of what makes Phelan's now very well known system work is that, whether one is cooking rice or disciplining children, it's essential to have a method, the simpler the better. All effective methods rely first and foremost on how they guide us away from reactive and emotionally-based behaviors and keep us on the proper path. Note well that Phelan's method requires the parent to understand that "Too Much Talking" and "Too Much Emotion" by the parent will lead to failure. Understanding why this is so is the key to understanding why Phelan's method is so effective.
Usually parents get caught in the trap of explaining or justifying their prerogative. This can be done once: clearly I am the adult, and not only is it my responsibility to guide your development, but, because I have been where you are and understand your situation--mainly frustration at not getting what you want--it is I, not you, who are in a position to make the right decisions. Period. Indeed, this doesn't even have to be said once. Children understand, with or without realizing it, that Mom and Dad know better than they do.

So any sort of "talk" is not only superfluous but may obscure what has happened, namely that the child has done something wrong and the parent wants it stopped. Furthermore, if you talk, the child talks and the lesson is diluted.

Even worse is for the parent to get emotional about disciplining the child. It's your job, do it and don't get worked up about it because discipline is just a technique in the larger socialization process. If you allow yourself to become emotional, you muddy up the waters and detract from the business at hand.

Phelan's 1-2-3 Magic technique works and is easy to learn and implement. If you are an ineffective disciplinarian, this book will literally change your life.