Saturday, September 26, 2009

What Every Mom Needs


What Every Mom Needs by Elisa Morgan and Carol Kuykendall

This book is disappointing. While it does go into what a mother needs (time to herself, understanding, and acknowledgement that motherhood is not a 'nothing' job) the answers provided are - despite the assurance that the book is useful to someone "Whatever your heritage or faith" - rather biblical. Further, at times they aren't even in the book but referenced in such a manner; ... an on truly difficult days, the answer can be found in Eph 2:5. Not helpful when the washing machine is overflowing and baby has a toothache.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Real Moms


Real Moms by Elisa Morgan and Carol Kuykendall

Morgan and Kuykendall, directors for the national organization, MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers), know what moms need: honest, hopeful, helpful advice. In Real Moms, they note popular "mom myths" (such as real moms must always look good or a real mom never gets angry) and the corresponding realities. Each chapter ends with a practical application, questions for reflection and quotes from real moms. Their message is encouraging; their style, unique and down-to-earth. I needed this book!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay: And Other Things I Had to Learn as a New Mom


Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay: And Other Things I Had to Learn as a New Mom by Stefanie Wilder-Taylor

The "author" writes about her own experiences as if they are facts that ALL mothers are HONESTLY experiencing (and if they don't admit it then they are just lying and she doesn't trust them). I have no problem with people writing about their personal experiences and I certainly don't have to agree with their views; in fact, whether I agree with Wilder-Taylor is irrelevant. The problem I have is that she writes as if she is the authority over issues that she has only experienced first-hand. She uses a lot of, "you will feel..." "This will happen to you..." It's ironic because she writes at length about how she hates it when people tell her what to do or how to feel and yet that's what she does to her readers.

She also over-simplifies just about everything she writes about and doesn't give factual information. For example, in her breastfeeding section she gives only 2 extreme scenarios: If you choose to breastfeed and are eventually successful at it then you are a breastfeeding nazi or you're a sane person who realizes formula is best (mothers I know don't fall into either extreme camp). Again - it's fine to share one's personal experience, but she attempts to give factual information and even brings in her own expert to back herself up. For example, she says that her pediatrician has not seen any differences between breastfed babies and formula fed babies in his practice. Ok, either she's lying or he lied to her. All one has to do is read statements based on years of research from the World Health Organization or the American Academy of Pediatrics to see that this is simply not statistically sound (you don't need a college degree or even a high school diploma to understand this).

I know how excruciatingly painful and difficult breastfeeding is for many women (including myself). I know mothers, for a variety of reasons, who exclusively breastfeed, exclusively use formula, and breastfeed and supplement with formula. I do not judge women for their decisions as she clearly does which again is ironic as she's doing the same thing to her readers as she feels the lactation consultants, doula, La Leche League volunteers and complete strangers have done to her.

In her chapter on "little braniacs" she writes, "if you're dying for your child to speak Chinese, why not adopt a Chinese kid? The upside is in a few years they can do your taxes. On the other hand, they'll cost you a bundle in car insurance." Not only is this not funny, but it's extremely ignorant. She says a lot of things like this in her book which readers might interpret as "real" and "so hilarious" but why does one have to say, quite frankly "mean" things at the expense of others and others' choices? This has nothing to do with being "PC" at all, by the way. I simply think it's unfortunate when people need to make fun of other people to make themselves feel better.

I believe that new mothers need to support one another (as she also says she believes, strangely enough). I also like it when new mothers are willing to admit that they are not perfect and it's refreshing when we can laugh at ourselves. Though Wilder-Taylor claims to do all of this, she actually just judges other new mothers and their decisions as well as puts them into 1 extreme camp or another in virtually every page. I felt like I was in high school again reading a book written from one of the "mean", not-so-bright girls, but I'll stop here. I don't want to stoop down to Wilder-Taylor's level.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Confessions of a Slacker Mom


Confessions of a Slacker Mom by Muffy Mead-Farro

You should know before reading Muffy Mead-Ferro's short book that she has a nanny for her two children. That small nugget was tucked into the last chapter of this meandering lazy attempt at countering anything and everything in parenting help books. It's difficult to take a writer seriously when they don't put all of their credentials relating to the topic up front. If someone is going to espouse the idea that being a lazy mom is okay, you should note that you can afford to act this way since you are lucky enough to have hired help. Besides, if your children don't turn out perfect, you'll always have someone else to blame.
The idea of the book is that Muffy doesn't want to buy loads of educational toys, put headphones on her abdomen during pregnancy, get warmers for the wet wipes, etc. All the things that many modern (Yuppie) parents are lead to believe are necessary to get their children into the best pre-schools, high schools, and universities. It's a great idea (a lot of this needs to be said), but the author really falls flat when expanding on these ideas. Her rationale for not wanting to do all these things is that her parents didn't and she turned out okay. Fine, but we all know that. Most parents didn't read How-To guides and yet their children still managed to survive and thrive. Mead-Ferro's lack of explication is irritating (as is her literary eye-rolling when talking about other parents) and results in repetitive and obvious "revelations." The book is a wonderful idea but poorly executed and almost completely devoid of any innovative or interesting ideas. The lack of depth leaves only enough material for a light magazine article. A real shame.